The Chaps in Charcoal

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Perhaps descendants of Acrylic Tony. It is unclear their precise etymology, but appear they have on the screen out of me doing it after work and you observing it perhaps also after work (if before, I hope you have a decent day). 

Perhaps noticeable in crowds, the chaps are known to keep themselves firmly to their purpose at times when they are attending to business. Perhaps they are dropping a urine sample off, or seeking some visible confirmation whether it is big bin day or recycling. Or perhaps they are just trying to avoid the football scores so they can get the most out of Match of the Day. 

Whatever business they are attending to they attend to it with sightly (must be a word if unsightly is a word) aplomb and furious equanimity, right down to their boot straps. 

Don’t you just know it. 

Now if you must, approach the chaps, but know the chaps are not always so amenable to unsolicited approaches. In fact, they have been known to lash out and smash your camera (if you are carrying one). No, ideally they require you go directly through management, and if it is Sunday, and management are taking the bairns to badminton on Sunday and you have lost the remote to your remote control car, you will have to complete the online form, which you can’t actually complete till Monday, because otherwise there is too much of a backlog, and you know what the staff say about backlogs on Monday?

Balls to the backlog on Monday. Make the online form so it doesn’t work on the weekend and they can fight it out on Monday. 

Which is likely due to money and something structural, but you feel it as a punter, (especially on Sunday).

In short, wear shorts if you must, but the chaps won’t thank you for it. And why should they? If you want to wear shorts that’s your business, whatever the weather, whatever the occasion. Just be sure to mean it when it occurs. And I do mean mean it. 

Too many ‘means’ but I’m tired now.